Long time ago, my friend and I came up with a term to describe some of the men we were dating back in the day. We call them “Come over brothas”. Well we didn’t exactly use the word “brotha” but you get the point…I’ll be nicer now than we were back then.
Here’s a typical scenario: You meet a nice guy and you decide to invite him into your home. The first time he shows up he is truly on his best behavior. He says the nicest things and behaves like a complete gentleman, “You have such a lovely home, thank you for inviting me over”. You ask him if he cares for a glass of wine (but you really want to know if he is a drinker or not) and he says, “No thank you, can I just have a glass of water if you don’t mind?”. The evening goes well and now you’re thinking “hmm, this might work out”.
The next time he calls and asks if he can “come over” you are a little excited and with out thinking you say “Sure, come over tonight.” When he arrives he’s a little hungry. You make him a sandwich and this time he agrees to have a small glass of wine to wash it down. Once again, you have a delightful evening and possibly one or two more before you figure it out. By the fifth visit, the “come over brotha” rears his ugly head.
He comes by without calling, not only is he hungry but he’s funky and thirsty from playing ball, he heads straight for your refrigerator, opens it without asking and says “How come you ain’t got no beer in here? What’s up wit dat?” He grabs your remote, changes the channel from the program you were watching, and just then his cell phone rings and he leaves the room so that you can hear the TV.
Ladies, here are a few clues in case you don’t know how to spot him:
- He lives with another woman; most often, his momma
- He’s always empty handed when he walks through the door (unless he is returning something that belongs to you)
- He loves your cooking so much that he doesn’t like to go out to eat
- He grabs your remote right after he grabs something from your fridge
- He spends the night and in the morning when you get up for work, he doesn’t
He doesn’t need to meet all of these criteria, but 3 out of 5 should do it. I did say that this post is about love and just to make it clear, my friend and I truly do LOVE the come over brothas in our lives. That’s why I’m giving them a shout out, because we miss them so much. We’re just glad there’s another lucky young lady out there that is willing to say “Sure, come over”.