Shout out to the “Come over Brotha” – 5 Ways To Spot A Loser

Vote on Blog EngageMy tagline reads “Insights on love, music, money and lifestyle design”. Yet I must admit, that I haven’t blogged about love much, so this post is overdue.

Long time ago, my friend and I came up with a term to describe some of the men we were dating back in the day. We call them “Come over brothas”. Well we didn’t exactly use the word “brotha” but you get the point…I’ll be nicer now than we were back then.

Don't tell him to "come over"!

Don't tell him to "come over"!

Here’s a typical scenario: You meet a nice guy and you decide to invite him into your home. The first time he shows up he is truly on his best behavior. He says the nicest things and behaves like a complete gentleman, “You have such a lovely home, thank you for inviting me over”. You ask him if he cares for a glass of wine (but you really want to know if he is a drinker or not) and he says, “No thank you, can I just have a glass of water if you don’t mind?”.  The evening goes well and now you’re thinking “hmm, this might work out”.

The next time he calls and asks if he can “come over” you are a little excited and with out thinking you say “Sure, come over tonight.” When he arrives he’s a little hungry. You make him a sandwich and this time he agrees to have a small glass of wine to wash it down. Once again, you have a delightful evening and possibly one or two more before you figure it out. By the fifth visit, the “come over brotha” rears his ugly head.

He comes by without calling, not only is he hungry but he’s funky and thirsty from playing ball, he heads straight for your refrigerator, opens it without asking and says “How come you ain’t got no beer in here? What’s up wit dat?”  He grabs your remote, changes the channel from the program you were watching, and just then his cell phone rings and he leaves the room so that you can hear the TV.

Ladies, here are a few clues in case you don’t know how to spot him:

  1. He lives with another woman; most often, his momma
  2. He’s always empty handed when he walks through the door (unless he is returning something that belongs to you)
  3. He loves your cooking so much that he doesn’t like to go out to eat
  4. He grabs your remote right after he grabs something from your fridge
  5. He spends the night and in the morning when you get up for work, he doesn’t

He doesn’t need to meet all of these criteria, but 3 out of 5 should do it. I did say that this post is about love and just to make it clear, my friend and I truly do LOVE the come over brothas in our lives. That’s why I’m giving them a shout out, because we miss them so much. We’re just glad there’s another lucky young lady out there that is willing to say “Sure, come over”.


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25 responses to “Shout out to the “Come over Brotha” – 5 Ways To Spot A Loser

    • Oh….K! I got your MWO, now shut it and add something to the list that I might have forgot! Smooches.

  1. Hi, Ileane, I blew up my blog by accident a couple of weeks ago–and your link with it. So, I was pleased when you wandered over and drop a comment on me. Thanks. I’ve stuck you back in the blog roll again, and hope not to lose you this time.

    Well, hmmmm. Guys. One other thought to add to your list is: Most men are rats. Make them prove to you otherwise. That is give us no to limited credibility from the start and you’ll never be disappointed, or make commitments you later regret. Hey, it’s just a genetic thing…we’re rats. Don’t’ necessarily wanna be, just how we’re wired. It happens.

    Best Regards, Galen
    Imagineering Fiction Blog

  2. Hi Galen,

    There are some keepers out there we just need to be more selective!
    I’m glad you found my site again, thanks to you I changed the name of my blog from the boring Ileane’s blog to Ms. Ileane Speaks.
    I’ll be checking your blog and tweeting some of your posts.

  3. hahaha…we all have had an encounter with this guy before…great post!

  4. Yes I had a guy like this but after a short time and a lot of patience he transformed! so there is hope for the “come over brother” lol

  5. Thanks for stopping by NV, and thanks for showing love to the COB in your life. lol

  6. See I don’t play that game…

    …his azz can take me out to eat, the movies and shopping and romantic weekends. And if I do on the off chance open my home to him he sure as heck(ll) better call hours before hand otherwise his feelings will get hurt.

    There is a reason I am single. It because the brothas can’t grasp my high standards.

  7. I wanted to Tweet this post, but you don’t have Tweet this button 😦

  8. The share buttons are at the bottom of the post. Also you can use the Tweet button over at Blog Engage. Thanks for the support.

  9. Ileane I laughed through this whole post. My girlfriend is sitting here cracking up with me 😀

    • I’m so happy that I could entertain you guys. Now you must take her shopping later if she is sweet enough to read blogs with you!


  10. Ileane thank you for the chuckle. I’m so glad I’m no longer in the dating scene.

  11. I hear you girl, thanks for voting. Glad I made you laugh.

  12. Now, Ileane you can’t forget that this “gentlemen” would much rather have a Blockbuster night than catch a movie!

    Good job!

  13. Holy cow, Ileane! Well, friend, you have certainly given me just one more reason to be grateful for my amazing husband of 24+ years. He was a “Can I Take You to Dinner and Dancing Brotha.” Or something like that. 🙂

  14. Going to a girls home and eating her food or drinking her beverages seems like a very non-gentleman thing to do. I couldn’t do it , maybe just the first time but after that if she invited me I would have to bring something myself otherwise I would feel bad. I guess I’m just that kind of guy. Great post Ileane, It was strange reading this kind of post on your blog I must admit. As far as I know you, I have only read social networking posts on your blog but this is great as well 🙂

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